Why Some People Hate The INTJ
With INTJs being known for their never-ending analysis of everything around them, it comes as no surprise that most people who meet an INTJ would consider them seemingly withdrawn and slightly pessimistic. But what about an INTJ makes it so difficult for some personality types to enjoy their company?
1. They Hate Being Wrong
It’s true.. INTJs hate being wrong. But for this intuitive and analytical know-it-all, they actually usually do in fact know it all. So, when they’re faced with someone who thinks they’re wrong, they can get quite definesive because they themselves almost can’t fully believe it.
In fact, some sources claim that INTJs are downright obsessed with being right, but mostly to prove to themselves rather than in an egotistical manner. While most INTJs are open to disagreements in hopes of proving they are in fact right - they aren’t opposed to being proven wrong and as long as they get straight facts that they can then use to further their knowledge.
However, whatever the reason the INTJ is defending their reasoning, some people can’t stand a know-it-all when they see one, and INTJs are as close to a know-it-all as you’re going to get.
2. They Can Lack Empathy
INTJs are wired to choose rationality over emotion, no matter what the situation is. It’s not to say that this is necessarily always a bad thing, because it does allow INTJs to easily find solutions to issues, but this personality type is so blindsided by the emotional factors that they weigh out logic and rationality to come to conclusions even if emotion is one of the biggest factors at play.
For example, they may not see the harm in telling someone who just lost their pet to just get a new one. In an INTJs eyes, they can see the emotion in the situation but they don’t necessarily take it into account when offering the most logical advice.
They sometimes don’t see why others would need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to vent to, they think that if someone is coming to them to talk, they are looking for logical solutions. This can make people assume the INTJ is insincere or maybe even at times, down right rude, when of course that’s not their intention.
3. They Enjoy Arguing Thoughts and Opinions
Just as much as INTJs hate being wrong, they love a good disagreement. In fact, opposite to their feeling counterpart, the INFJ who can feel overly uncomfortable and disturbed in times of disagreement and conflict, the INTJ sees arguments as a logically informative way to either teach or learn new information.
They love using solid facts to defend their case, and they expect the same from the other party. So, if you’re arguing with an INTJ and you’re relying on your gut feelings and emotions to back you up, you can be sure they won’t see your arguments as valid.
While some extroverted personality types don’t mind a solid conversation of indifference, most people would rather run the other way, because not only can an argument with an INTJ be extremely intimidating, but they’re probably right anyway.
4. They Don’t Mind to Challenge the System
INTJs don’t blindly follow anything without a full understanding as to why. This includes rules, restrictions, societal structures and the authority figures who impose them. While it may seem rebellious and unnecessary to some people, INTJs feel the need to argue or challenge useless rules and regulations that are imposed on them.
While of course, this attitude can definitely rub people the wrong way, including the authority figures being challenged, it can also make it extremely uncomfortable for the people around them. While the argued points of an INTJ usually hold a lot of truth, challenging higher power usually doesn’t get resolved by the INTJ proving they are right, so most people see no point in making a fuss.
In fact, if someone is with an INTJ during their times of challenging authority, there’s a good chance they’ll avoid future public ventures with them to avoid the embarrassment.
5. They Are Highly Perfectionistic
INTJs are pessimistic idealists. They have an extremely high standard for most things in life, but they also see the faults in the world and the people in it. Therefore, they like to control the things around them to the best of their abilities with the understanding that the more they make things happen rather than let things happen to them, they will be ahead of the game.
The unfortunate thing for this introverted and highly individualistic type is that their main goal is to better themselves, which means they can easily sacrifice their time, relationships, and even finances to be better.
The’re perfectionism makes it difficult for them to work with others, so they don’t rely on others for anything. In fact, most INTJs actually see most people as incompitant to hold the level of standard for life as they do.
They need everything organized, planned and properly executed in a very specific manner which makes it extremely difficult to work with an INTJ for some types that need a little more freedom for creativity.
6. They’re Mysterious
Humans are curious creatures. When we lack the knowledge of who someone really is, we take the facts we do know and make up our own judgements to ease our curiosity. Well, let’s just say, for an INTJ who holds a very private life and guarded emotions, this personality type has a lot of judgments about who they are from outsiders looking in.
Smart, successful, and confident in their minds work, the INTJ can not only come off as an intimidating character, but also maybe even cold and uninterested at times. To be fair, this personality type can be quite judgemental and critical of the people around them, and although they hold a great amount of self-control over their thoughts and feelings, their judgments can be seen in their faces and body language.
So, with their curious nature and judgemental looks, you can only imagine the conclusions some people make about the INTJ.
7. They Have Little Tolerance for Lack of Logic
Because INTJs can see the solutions to issues so obviously, they can’t wrap their heads around the fact that the majority of the world is so blinded to them.
In fact, not only does the INTJ have difficulty relating to people who lack a deep sense of rationality, but they can actually get noticeably annoyed and needlessly harsh with some people who don’t think the way they do. If someone is making a decision based off of the way they feel, such as the INFJ would do, an INTJ wouldn’t be able to help but to argue the fact that emotions have no real basis of evidence.
This intolerance for lack of logic can make people feel as if their emotions aren’t validated, and emotional validation is one of the key bases of connection.. In other words, it can be hard for people to feel compelled to befriend an INTJ after being shut down for their feelings.
8. They Can Be Pessimistic
INTJs aren’t the warm and fuzzy friends you call when you want to be told what you want to hear. Instead, the INTJ will tell you exactly what you need to hear, and the most logical solution to fix whatever issue it is you have. No sugar coating, false hope, or emotional soothing.
They understand that life can be harsh, but for this logical personality type, emotions and false hope only get in the way of achieving what it really is you need to do in a given situation.
They’re not going to tell you your spouse is a good partner if they can clearly see all the ways in which they aren’t pulling their end. And they’re not going to tell you it’s okay that you lost your job when they know you need to look for a new one to make the rent for that month.
Some people can really appreciate this INTJ trait for what it is, because to be fair, honesty and rationality are quite hard to come by these days. However, in reality, most people aren’t ready for the truth of the matter, and a pessimistic attitude can surely make it all worse.