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Why Are People So Obsessed With the INFJ

Why People Seem to Obsess Over the INFJ

There is something about the rare traits of the INFJ personality that seems to draw people in, and crave more of them. In a world of competition and materialism, INFJs can definitely offer a unique perspective on the deeper aspects of life with little focus on the less important things, but what is it about them that makes them attract seemingly obsessive people?

1. They’re Mysterious Nature Sparks Curiosity

INFJs are private people by default. They tend to only open up to a very small number of people that they let into their social group, and even then, their closest friends and family still won’t know everything about them.

This hesitancy to share their feelings and emotions on personal matters causes people to only want to know more about them. They’re like an onion, you have to slowly peel back their deep feelings one layer at a time, and this can be extremely intriguing to people who lay it all out, which is easy to do with an INFJ.

They seem cool, calm and collected in all scenarios but then their introspective insights and advice gives subtle hints that there’s a lot more going on in their busy minds than they share. This keeps people coming back for more, especially since we’re naturally curious creatures.

2. They’re Great Listeners

While INFJs aren’t so quick to talk about themselves, they have an incredible gift of attentive listening. Listening is slowly becoming a lost trait in today’s society where people are too focused on themselves and what’s going on in their cyber worlds.

Therefore, to be able to talk to someone who is genuinely concerned and willing to offer advice is a rare occurrence for most people. So, when people do talk to an INFJ, they feel heard, understood, and not judged, which is something that’s incredibly difficult to pass up once you’ve had a taste of it.

The unfortunate aspect to this innate listening ability is that it calls for many one sided conversations, which can quickly drain an INFJs social battery. In these times, INFJs will pull-away which usually causes people to chase even harder in hopes to get one last free therapy session.

3. They Have Deep Insights

The INFJ personality type is extremely introspective which allows for interesting perspectives on all aspects of life. They are usually considered old souls who hold unexplainable wisdom on life's deepest questions and everyday topics like relationships, worklife, and really anything that has to do with people and how they work.

This, much like their listening skills, can feel like a breath of fresh air for people who are so wrapped up in the everyday drama of being a human surrounded by other humans. People who have been around an INFJ for a decent amount of time will crave that deep wisdom and uninterest for drama because they can’t find it elsewhere.

However, if someone brings drama to this drama-free zone (which is easy considering the INFJs' listening skills), they’ll quickly make moves to avoid being in their presence.

4. They Attract People Who Need Help

Because most INFJs can be considered empaths, they often attract people who need emotional help and support. While this doesn’t bother an INFJ who has great pride in helping others, it can definitely attract the wrong crowd.

When people who lack emotional support get in touch with an INFJ, they can feel an understanding and love that they’ve never felt before. And while this can create amazing deep bonds that most INFJs crave themselves, it can also create a host of problems that cause the INFJ to back out of the connection.

This is when the unhealthy obsession can settle in, where the INFJ is wanted much more than the INFJ wants to be around the other person.

5. They Can Provide Great Advice

INFJs are seen as the counsellor personality type for many reasons, aside from being amazing listeners and extremely empathetic, they also are able to deliver unique advice that gives people a great sense of relief.

They’ll let someone know when it's time to stop and treat themselves, but they also won’t hesitate to tell someone when they need to put in a little more effort to get what they want.

People who have had the pleasure of receiving advice from an INFJ may begin to feel like they have trouble making decisions without their INFJs input, especially when it comes to close friends, family and spouses.

6. They’re Independent

INFJs are very independent people, and their independence may come off as if they’re playing hard to get at times. Because this personality type is actually concerned about the well-being of others, they don’t hesitate to give their full attention when they're in someone's presence.

However, getting an INFJ to step away from their much desired alone time is where the difficulty comes in. They’re not the ones to be constantly checking in on people or spending their spare time in eagerness to connect with others.

This can create a type of clinginess for some people that require a good amount of attention and presence form their friends or partner.

7. They Are Easily Idolized

If outsiders were to take a look into the mind of an INFJ personality type, they probably wouldn’t be able to wrap their heads around how much and how deep the INFJ is constantly thinking about everything.

However, since they look calm, collected and put together on the outside, people tend to idolize their INFJ friend or partner. Their perfectionism, empathy and motivation to better themselves requires this personality type to stay consistent in their goals and not settle for less than they deserve.

This makes other people look up to an INFJ, craving to get close enough that the INFJ attitude on health, money and life perspectives may rub off on them. This idolization and attention is flattering, but for an INFJ, it can seem ingenuine and almost as if they’re not completely understood for the struggles they go through.

8. They Have Incredible Intuition

The intuition of an INFJ is one of their greatest powers, especially when they learn how to properly use it to their advantage. With that being said, if you’ve ever been around an INFJ in the heat of following an intuitive hunch, you may even call it psychic powers.

The INFJ can feel when something is off about a friend's relationship, career choice, emotions, and the list goes on.. In fact, this personality type can receive intuitive and empathetic hunches about their friends and family just as they receive intuitive guidance for themselves.

This can make others obsess over the fact that INFJs seem to just ‘know things’ about them that they may have not even seen themselves. People may even begin to rely on these INFJ insights to make decisions, especially when it comes to close friends and romantic partners.

9. They Have an Infectious Charisma

INFJs have a great understanding of how the human mind works, and in turn, what it takes to be well-liked by all walks of life. Okay.. maybe not all walks of life, but they definitely have an infectious charisma that seems to draw people in and make them want to stay longer.

While some INFJs take the back seat when put in new surroundings, others are able to connect with others in a completely genuine way, not relying on small talk and gossip as the topic of conversation.

This uniqueness mixed with their deep energy can easily draw people towards them, yet an INFJ will only let people into their lives if they feel an intuitive pull towards that person which can lead to confusion and even obsession.

10. They Can Be Flirty

Just as the INFJ can use their understanding of the human mind to unveil their charisma, they can also come off as being seemingly flirty. Although the INFJ has a hard time flirting with people that they’re actually interested in, this personality type can surprise themselves with the flirtatious comments they say to people that show interest in them.

It’s fair to say that these types of comments can definitely lead to mixed signals, miscommunication, and even a few broken hearts. If someone is showing an INFJ attention and interest, not only is it fulfilling the INFJs underlying want for attention, but it also leaves them in a position to be flirty back, to avoid hurt feelings.

Ironically, showing their interest in someone who they weren’t interested in to start can create one-sided connections and ultimately avoidance once an INFJ becomes tired of feeling the obligation to converse. Which, in the end, only makes the opposing person try harder in hopes of tearing down these walls.